Friday, March 05, 2010

Stuff and Stuff and More Stuff!

Does anyone else ever have the feeling that they are just drowning in stuff?!?

Sometimes, and today especially, I have been just going through my mind the lists of stuff we actually currently use vs. the stuff we have stored in all the knooks and crannies of our tiny... little... cozy home. 

The topic of conversation that throws our whole world into chaos has arisen once again.  David and I have been discussing moving again.  "Again" as in the discussion, not the moving.  We have only lived in this one little house since we got married 4.5 years ago.  When we decided to buy it, the idea was that we would live here 3 years, tops.  Then we would move into our dream home.  Because by then we would have saved thousands of dollars and would be able to afford it, of course.  (Allowance of time for riotous laughter from the peanut gallery to subside....)

So, here we are four and a half years later.  Now, I do have to give myself and my wonderful husband props for the fact that we have in the past year and a half made the decision to get out of debt, and have succeeded in paying off everything except the car, the house, and one credit card.  And we have saved some money too.  So at least we are not considering moving into a shelter or a tent.  Thank you, God!

I think that my feelings of drowning in stuff also have some contribution from the fact that I feel completely overwhelmed thinking about all the things that I have to do to get the house ready to sell.  And then the panic feelings of actually putting the house on the market and all the uncertainty of finding a buyer.  And then all the anxiety over finding a house that is affordable, close to David's work, comfortable, and in a safe neighborhood.  I would be very happy if we could get a house bigger than 1500 square feet next.  I would really enjoy being able to have space for entertaining and having my family over and everything.  There are about 20 people in my side of the family (parents, siblings, neices and nephews), and all of us just really have a hard time fitting into a 12x15 foot living room, at least comfortably.

So, I have a lot of work to do.  And David and I have some decisions to make.  I have definitely been struggling with not feeling confident that God will lead us in all of this. My head has a full understanding and faith that the Spirit is working in this, and that David has God-given wisdom to make good decisions, but my knees are still quaking and my heart is lagging behind.

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