Friday, August 24, 2012


I can't come up with a better post title...

Nothing much has been going on for me lately. I have been basking in the enjoyment of having quiet days at home and reading. I have also been delighting in Netflix and a couple current shows that I follow online. My current favorite is "Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo". I can't help myself...

At the first glance, that family seems like a capsulized version of everything wrong with America today. However, it sucks you in. The best part of it is definitely Mama- her version of self-awareness coupled with her complete lack of shame make for great TV. It feels okay to laugh at the things she does and says (at least the ones that are funny...) because she is obviously in on the joke. The producers want us to think she's just a run-of-the-mill hilljack, but she is one smart cookie in my opinion. Lady can hustle.

We have another class to take at the adoption agency tomorrow. It's been a year since we took the course on behavior modification, so we are taking it again. I really, really hope we can get all the i's and t's dotted and crossed soon. I'm having a moment where all I want is to hold a baby. Preferably my own.

It's one week until my precious niece gets married! I am so excited for her, and I think the lucky guy is awesome. He seems like a very fun, kind, salt-of-the-earth kind of guy. They are perfect for each other.

Not long ago I got together with my sisters, my older nieces, and a friend for a body-wrap party. I had a great time, but the best part was spending time with family. I was amazed upon reflection at just how full of love my heart felt for them. I was all warm and squishy inside. Going home later that evening was hard- I just wanted to stay cuddled up with them, talking and soaking in their presence all night. It will be really hard when my niece moves away after she's married. I will miss her.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012


David and I were talking late into the night a couple of nights ago. Sometimes it's like you can be near to one another and yet so far, and then suddenly look over and think, "oh yeah, it's you! I like you!" And then you talk and talk and talk, like slaking a thirst after wandering the desert. I love talking to him.

Anyway, we were talking about life, and children. We heard from our adoption agency caseworker last Friday with a couple of last-minute questions. She is working on gathering our file. We contacted her about three days or so after losing the baby, and let her know that we wanted to take our file off the shelf and get back into it. It was a month of blowing hot and cold with us for her. We got into contact with her in early June to let her know we wanted to go ahead and finish the licensing process. Then we were sucked into a whirlwind of activity, getting the house ready, getting inspections done, and then doing the homestudy. Five days after doing the homestudy, we found out we were pregnant. I called her the next day and told her our news, and let her know that we wanted to hold off on adopting until the baby was born and settled in. Then, two weeks later, we found out we lost the baby. Three days after that we contacted the caseworker and let her know what happened, and that we wanted back in.

At the time we contacted her to get going again, I wasn't sure I was ready to think about other children yet, as I was still mourning the death of my Tristan. Thankfully I was seeing a counselor who encouraged me to go ahead and prepare to go forward with the adoption, encouraging me that my feelings would change. She knows me well, and knows just how long David and I have wanted a family. At about 9 days out from learning I would miscarry, I was ready to start thinking about adopting and/or getting pregnant again. I am glad that we contacted our caseworker when we did because we were moved to the end of her docket, and it has taken her 3 weeks or so to get back to us. And I am definitely ready now to proceed.

So, back to my original comment- David and I were talking about life. He said that he liked our life right now. Not so much that he wants it to stay this way forever- he definitely wants all the hubbub and chaos a baby will bring, on top of the love, cuddles and cuteness. But, he said he was enjoying it for right now. He feels contentment. I feel more like I'm waiting. There's not really anything left for us to do in reaching our goals at the moment. Pregnancy and adoption are all in the hands of others at the moment. Pregnancy is in the hands of God, and adoption is too, but its also more immediately in the hands of the system and our agency. Hopefully it won't be too much longer before we can start reviewing cases and applying in specific cases to adopt.

Friday, August 10, 2012


When I was little, my dad and slightly older sister used to play a game. One would start:
"You're driving me nuts!"
Then the other would respond, "You're driving me ________________ (name of vegetable/fruit/legume/etc)!"
And it could go on a loooooong tiiiiime. "You're driving me coconuts!" "You're driving me turnips!" "You're driving me cashews!"

The penultimate response, though, which my dad always graciously left to my sister, was "You're driving me RUTABAGAS!"

My dad thought it was hilarious. C was only two or so the first time she responded with this, and it was their special game forever after. Or at least it was for a while, then graduated into the category of "cute family baby story that gets told over and over ad nauseum". But my dad never stopped finding it funny.

I have never tried a rutabaga before. I always assumed they were mythical vegetables that were the quintessential "for display only" items in the supermarket whenever anyone did find some. It never occurred to me that anyone would actually consider eating them, much less enjoy doing so.

My views have changed.

I bought a nice, big, beautiful rutabaga for the first time on Wednesday.  I have been stalking rutabaga recipes on pinterest for the last week, determined to try making them in something, and even more determined to actually like them when I did so.

My first, ill-fated attempt on Wednesday was to put them in a (very expensive) lamb roast. In the crockpot. I assumed it would smell and taste delicious. I have always liked lamb very much when I have ordered it in restaurants, as well as the handful of times that my wonderful hubs has grilled it here at home. I have found that there is a way to prepare it that I do not like. And that is to roast it in a crockpot. So that the whole house will be permeated with the stink of boiling lamb. I did my best to just eat it anyway, but it was just too much. It made me feel like gagging. And don't even ask about the rutabaga in there with it. I think it might not have been as disgusting if I hadn't absolutely decked it out ornament-on-a-Christmas-tree style in fresh rosemary. The rosemary in double portion does not equal double good.

So, I burned several candles, strained the broth out, set the vegetables aside for David to eat later (he thought they were okay, and more power to him), and then rinsed the stewed lamb of all the last vestiges of its rosemary decorations and put it in the fridge to try and revamp later. Last night I resurrected it in the form of a Persian stew over rice with turmeric, garlic, and curry, and it wasn't too bad. All the crockpot action, though, had me craving a real roast, and my determination over the rutabagas was begging me to try them again in a recipe that I already knew we loved.

So, tonight I tried again. We dug a beef roast out of the freezer from our store of beef from David's PawPaw. PawPaw is a real gem- every year he buys three or four calves, turns them out to pasture for a year, and then butchers them and divides the meat amongst his children and grandchildren. So, each year we get about 50-60 pounds of beautiful, organic, delicious beef cuts (ground meat, sirloin steaks, ribeye steaks, roasts, etc.)

After it defrosted overnight last night I dressed it up with some beef boullion, garlic, and salt and stuck it in the crockpot this morning. After taking David to work, I went by the store and bought about 4 pounds of baby carrots and two medium rutabagas. I was tempted by the leeks, but they did me wrong in the lamb roast two days prior, and I haven't forgiven them yet. Anyway, I brought home my root vegetables, cut them up, and added them to the pot.

After about 7 hours in the pot, it was finally time to give them a second go for a taste test. And they were DELICIOUS! I was impressed at how succulent they were, and how well they absorbed the flavor of the roast. They have a texture very similar to a potato, but don't have the same amount of starch and carbs as potatoes. I think I am hooked. Oh, and David loved them too.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

New Computer!

I'm typing my first post on my awesome new PINK computer. And yes I customized all color settings on the background and windows to be color-coordinated. It is SO AWESOME.

And now I'm a little depressed because my awesome new computer is here, just as I'm at a good part in a good, old-fashioned fantasy novel- and all I want to do is read. Instead of playing with my NEW PINK COMPUTER. I also have a new pink wireless mouse, a new pink laptop bag/briefcase, and will soon be getting a new white laptop stand via UPS. It's all color-coordinated.

The trials of the wealthy....

I think I am a little bit spoiled. At least David can now gleefully remove all traces of my meddling on his computer. He took delight in telling it to forget my passwords on our shared sites, like facebook. Because it is now, once again, only his. And I am never to touch it again. Lol. At least I have my Pinky. And yes, my computer's name is only in response to him naming his computer "Bluey". I have never named my computer before. And I giggle a little bit sometimes about the name of his. Mostly because he named it in reference to it's color, but in my mind it sounds like a prediction: one day it will go "ka-BLOOEY".

But, mine's name is Pinky. Bringing to mind one of the best tv quotes ever: "So what are we doing tonight, Brain? The same thing we do every night, Pinky. TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

Tuesday, August 07, 2012


Yesterday was our seventh anniversary! David let me order myself a fab present- the coveted pink laptop. I guess he finally got tired of me poaching his... I was so excited about it last night that I couldn't sleep. It is supposed to get here tomorrow! I literally couldn't. sleep. At about 4:30 in the morning, as I was laying in the dark, vacillating back and forth between pestering David and tossing and turning, I decided to just throw in the towel and read a book. At 5:15, it occurred to me that if I put a loaf of bread in the breadmaker, it would be done just in time for David's breakfast. And homemade bread is one of his favorites, plus it was weighing on my conscience that I hadn't done anything else for him to celebrate our anniversary. And when I asked him what I could do for him special for our anniversary earlier as we were initially going to bed, his response of "Wash me some underwear..." just didn't seem a big enough gesture. So, a surprise loaf of homemade bread it was. (And yes, I also threw in a load of underwear this evening.)

The light from my reading lamp confused David when he stirred a little at 6:15, so even though I still wasn't sleepy I turned it off so he would go back to his dreaming. After rubbing his head like a worry-stone for thirty minutes or so, I finally fell asleep too. And then jumped out of bed when the alarm went off at 8:30 to check on the bread and finish cooking breakfast. It was delicious, and I even cut him a couple slices and made a pb+j sandwich for lunch at work.

As far as everything else goes, things have pretty much returned to normal around here. It's still a little jarring seeing people that I haven't seen since before losing the baby. A lady at church approached David this last Sunday, saying she knew how embarrassing it is to be around people after announcing an "imaginary pregnancy", and she hoped I felt better soon. I'm not embarrassed, because my baby wasn't imaginary. But it's comments like that that make me feel like continuing to hide and keep my head buried at home.

So, things are progressing. And each day I feel better and things feel more normal. And my hubs is always wonderful.