I just realized that I never revealed what came of my visit to the orthodontist a couple weeks ago. Nothing. I went, I jumped five feet every time someone talked to me, let them poke around in my mouth for a bit, took a sheet of paper listing thousands of dollars of work that they thought needed to be done, then left and clicked my heels over my joy of being out of there. I can totally live with my crooked teeth for now- they aren't too bad after all.
Today I rejoiced because I used my lovely little Wii to weigh myself, and I have lost 14 pounds so far. Yay me! My motivation is to do it for my own health, but also so I don't look like a cow in the wedding pictures for David's brother's wedding this July. I'm doing Weight Watchers, and it totally works for me!
Also, my work-out this afternoon was to scrub my shower from floor to (almost) ceiling. Then I took a nice, refreshing, cold shower afterwards. Now I'm off to watch Dr. Phil, and then I might just scrounge up enough awesome to vacuum.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
God Bless "Hoarders"
Tonight David and I watched the newest episode of "Hoarders" on A&E. I have to admit, I love love love this show. The best thing about this show is that it totally inspires me to get myself in gear on my own housework. I feel great compassion for the people on the show- especially the kids. Tonight I really felt sorry for Sam, who felt like it was his responsibility to keep his mom and dad happy- I can totally relate. Not that it isn't right for kids to want to please their parents, but there is a big, huge difference between obeying and wanting to please your parents, and feeling responsible for their feelings. The first one is good and godly, and the second is a blurring of healthy emotional boundaries.
Okay, and whilst on the subject of cleaning, I have felt so convicted lately about my wifely duties in the home. I have repented several times in the last few days for allowing myself to be too enamored with a good book, good movie, good internet article, good nap, etc. to pull my weight around here. I think I have done a great job as far as being an encourager to my husband, but my skills as a supporter have been lacking. This realization came about from reading, and then re-reading a certain blog article- Liz ThoughtsI Love, Life, and Motherhood: A True Wife I have been so blessed from reading Elizabeth's blog, and every time I read that entry, I feel convicted and inspired all over again to put some extra effort into making my home clean and beautiful for my hard-working husband. Also, her kids (in her other entries) are super cute. Super. Cute.
So, anyway, tonight I spent a good hour and a half on laundry, sweeping, sorting papers, and scrubbing sinks. I feel so much better about my home now, and so much better as a wife. Also, David brought up a good point earlier when we were discussing this subject earlier (after watching Hoarders with me). He said that he especially wanted us to get things paired down to where there is a place for everything, and then create better habits and routines in keeping things put away, because as hard as it is to keep a neat house now, it will be much harder once we have kids. And he feels very strongly that he wants to raise our kids with a sense of responsibility about keeping our house neat and orderly. I really love and admire the way he thinks, and his good goals for our future. Nothing warms my heart more than discussing the future with my dear David. And, I also love the way he discusses his goals and feeling with me in such and thoughtful and gentle way. He is truly talented at discussing changes to make while also conveying appreciation and acceptance. He has a way of talking to someone where he could tell them that he just burned their house down and they would thank him for it!
Okay, and whilst on the subject of cleaning, I have felt so convicted lately about my wifely duties in the home. I have repented several times in the last few days for allowing myself to be too enamored with a good book, good movie, good internet article, good nap, etc. to pull my weight around here. I think I have done a great job as far as being an encourager to my husband, but my skills as a supporter have been lacking. This realization came about from reading, and then re-reading a certain blog article- Liz ThoughtsI Love, Life, and Motherhood: A True Wife I have been so blessed from reading Elizabeth's blog, and every time I read that entry, I feel convicted and inspired all over again to put some extra effort into making my home clean and beautiful for my hard-working husband. Also, her kids (in her other entries) are super cute. Super. Cute.
So, anyway, tonight I spent a good hour and a half on laundry, sweeping, sorting papers, and scrubbing sinks. I feel so much better about my home now, and so much better as a wife. Also, David brought up a good point earlier when we were discussing this subject earlier (after watching Hoarders with me). He said that he especially wanted us to get things paired down to where there is a place for everything, and then create better habits and routines in keeping things put away, because as hard as it is to keep a neat house now, it will be much harder once we have kids. And he feels very strongly that he wants to raise our kids with a sense of responsibility about keeping our house neat and orderly. I really love and admire the way he thinks, and his good goals for our future. Nothing warms my heart more than discussing the future with my dear David. And, I also love the way he discusses his goals and feeling with me in such and thoughtful and gentle way. He is truly talented at discussing changes to make while also conveying appreciation and acceptance. He has a way of talking to someone where he could tell them that he just burned their house down and they would thank him for it!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
My Happy Place
Tonight I am alone. It is not my alone-ness that inspired the title of this entry, though. I think that the reason that the alone-ness has not eaten me alive into its large, black, gaping maw is because of the title of this entry. I have found a happy place. I have discovered a path of contentment and joy. I feel that I am living with purpose, led and loved by my God. I have been doing some good reading over the last couple of months, and have discovered that there is no bittersweet, fatal flaw in the core of my being, separating and isolating me from the rest of humanity.
I have discovered that it is okay feel icky and gross sometimes, and that those feelings will pass if I let them- it denies my little girl self no honor to let the sadness go. I used to feel that I had to wallow in my misery, and keep it close to my heart in order to give myself a being-ness. When I was little, sadness was not okay. Crying was shameful. I felt that in order to give myself a voice as an adult, I needed to be bitter, cynical, and utterly sad. I felt I had to spend the rest of my life living a tribute to the "me" that wasn't allowed to "be" when I was growing up. I felt the need to rehash, and recite the sadness everyday, going over a mental checklist of all the reasons why I was not alright, and why I would never be truly loveable or acceptable.
I have found that to wallow intensifies and extends the misery. It just becomes a cycle.
I have learned things recently that seem to be a given due to common sense and basic Biblical teaching, yet altogether new once learned in the heart. I have learned to count my blessings every day. Gratitude is a surefire solution to misery. I list all the good things in my life more than once a day sometimes.
I have learned to respect my husband. I know that seems weird, like "duh....", but it is something to look into if you've never spent anytime pondering it. I have noticed that my old definition of respect for my husband really wasn't all that respectful, and was downright destructive at times. Have you ever considered the actual dictionary definition of the word respect? (I highlighted the things that stood out to me)
RESPECT (from dictionary.reference.com)
1. regard, feature, matter. 2. regard, connection. 3. estimation, reverence, homage, honor. Respect, esteem, veneration imply recognition of personal qualities by approbation, deference, and more or less affection. Respect is commonly the result of admiration and approbation, together with deference: to feel respect for a great scholar. Esteem is deference combined with admiration and often with affection: to hold a friend in great esteem. Veneration is an almost religious attitude of deep respect, reverence, and love, such as we feel for persons or things of outstanding superiority, endeared by long association: veneration for one's grandparents, for noble traditions. 7. bias, preference. 9. revere, venerate, consider, admire. 10. heed.
How many examples on TV are there of a wife expressing admiration for who her husband is, as a person? How many times are TV husbands treated with deference and regard, like a person of "outstanding superiority"? Not that we need to treat our husband as if he is inherently worth more than us- that is not what it means, at least not to me. It means superiority as in a precious stone, compared to normal rock. A big change that has brought me much happiness in my life as of late is making the switch from critique to praise with my wonderful husband David. I stopped looking for what he was doing wrong, and began looking for what he was doing right. I made sure that even if I hadn't said so once or twice (or a few times) during the day, that every night before we went to sleep at night I have told him at least one thing that I like about him as a person or about something he did that day. Such as, "Wonderful husband, I really appreciate your work on the lawn today. I feel so loved when you work so hard to take care of our home." Or it could be as simple as "Thanks for bringing me a glass of ice water earlier. You're a great guy!" He has really blossomed in light of my admiration, and the fact that I notice and compliment his efforts has brought its own rewards as well.
A book that really helped drive the point home for me was "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. Here.
If you want a good example of living with grace, the most uplifting blog I could reccommend would be Jaynee Lockwood's blog: http://www.lockwoodfamilytomexico.com/
Also, just a generally delightful place to go for practical tips and inspiration (and my first follower, hooray!)
Okay, I know that this has been a really long post, but I wanted to return to my original premise for posting. I am alone tonight. My sweet husband has gone on a men's retreat this weekend with some of the men from church, and so he is out being inspired and encouraged whilst I twiddle my thumbs at home..... Oh the drama! Actually, that is not true-- God saw my need, and provided a lovely and truly wonderful opportunity for friendship tonight. One of the women from church who was also alone for a short period while her husband and sons were out of the house asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner, and I delightedly agreed. I couldn't have been more blessed by our time together!
Also, as a last note before I stop my ramblings for tonight, please forgive me if I over-used the words "wonderful", "Inspiring", or any other adjectives. I get a little carried away! :P
I have discovered that it is okay feel icky and gross sometimes, and that those feelings will pass if I let them- it denies my little girl self no honor to let the sadness go. I used to feel that I had to wallow in my misery, and keep it close to my heart in order to give myself a being-ness. When I was little, sadness was not okay. Crying was shameful. I felt that in order to give myself a voice as an adult, I needed to be bitter, cynical, and utterly sad. I felt I had to spend the rest of my life living a tribute to the "me" that wasn't allowed to "be" when I was growing up. I felt the need to rehash, and recite the sadness everyday, going over a mental checklist of all the reasons why I was not alright, and why I would never be truly loveable or acceptable.
I have found that to wallow intensifies and extends the misery. It just becomes a cycle.
I have learned things recently that seem to be a given due to common sense and basic Biblical teaching, yet altogether new once learned in the heart. I have learned to count my blessings every day. Gratitude is a surefire solution to misery. I list all the good things in my life more than once a day sometimes.
I have learned to respect my husband. I know that seems weird, like "duh....", but it is something to look into if you've never spent anytime pondering it. I have noticed that my old definition of respect for my husband really wasn't all that respectful, and was downright destructive at times. Have you ever considered the actual dictionary definition of the word respect? (I highlighted the things that stood out to me)
RESPECT (from dictionary.reference.com)
1. regard, feature, matter. 2. regard, connection. 3. estimation, reverence, homage, honor. Respect, esteem, veneration imply recognition of personal qualities by approbation, deference, and more or less affection. Respect is commonly the result of admiration and approbation, together with deference: to feel respect for a great scholar. Esteem is deference combined with admiration and often with affection: to hold a friend in great esteem. Veneration is an almost religious attitude of deep respect, reverence, and love, such as we feel for persons or things of outstanding superiority, endeared by long association: veneration for one's grandparents, for noble traditions. 7. bias, preference. 9. revere, venerate, consider, admire. 10. heed.
How many examples on TV are there of a wife expressing admiration for who her husband is, as a person? How many times are TV husbands treated with deference and regard, like a person of "outstanding superiority"? Not that we need to treat our husband as if he is inherently worth more than us- that is not what it means, at least not to me. It means superiority as in a precious stone, compared to normal rock. A big change that has brought me much happiness in my life as of late is making the switch from critique to praise with my wonderful husband David. I stopped looking for what he was doing wrong, and began looking for what he was doing right. I made sure that even if I hadn't said so once or twice (or a few times) during the day, that every night before we went to sleep at night I have told him at least one thing that I like about him as a person or about something he did that day. Such as, "Wonderful husband, I really appreciate your work on the lawn today. I feel so loved when you work so hard to take care of our home." Or it could be as simple as "Thanks for bringing me a glass of ice water earlier. You're a great guy!" He has really blossomed in light of my admiration, and the fact that I notice and compliment his efforts has brought its own rewards as well.
A book that really helped drive the point home for me was "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. Here.
If you want a good example of living with grace, the most uplifting blog I could reccommend would be Jaynee Lockwood's blog: http://www.lockwoodfamilytomexico.com/
Also, just a generally delightful place to go for practical tips and inspiration (and my first follower, hooray!)
Okay, I know that this has been a really long post, but I wanted to return to my original premise for posting. I am alone tonight. My sweet husband has gone on a men's retreat this weekend with some of the men from church, and so he is out being inspired and encouraged whilst I twiddle my thumbs at home..... Oh the drama! Actually, that is not true-- God saw my need, and provided a lovely and truly wonderful opportunity for friendship tonight. One of the women from church who was also alone for a short period while her husband and sons were out of the house asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner, and I delightedly agreed. I couldn't have been more blessed by our time together!
Also, as a last note before I stop my ramblings for tonight, please forgive me if I over-used the words "wonderful", "Inspiring", or any other adjectives. I get a little carried away! :P
Thursday, February 11, 2010
It's Snowing!
Hooray, it's snowing for the second time this winter in our little nook of Texas! The first time it only spit a little snow at us, and we didn't really get the full experience. This time around (and with the help of antibiotics, since my cold is not quite finished yet) we got to really enjoy it and play in it! We decided to build a snowman:
No, Don't hug him, he'll fall over!!
Pretty, huh?
I so wish I could get the video of Zenzi and Mackenzie (checking out the snow, acclimating to the snow, playing in the snow, then freaking out for five minutes straight when their daddy tried to play with them in the snow) to load. Mackenzie was much more accepting of David after a few seconds, but Zenzi just couldn't get past the parachute pants. She was offended by his early-nineties fashion statement, I think. :)
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Under the Weather
To say I am under the weather would be putting it sooooo lightly. I feel like my sinuses are full of hardening concrete and my throat is coated in sand. God bless the makers of Mucinex-D. And Nyquil. And Dayquil. But not all at once, dear, lest your head float away and leave you asking your wonderful husband the same question about fifty times in a row with rising panic and your own personal version of "Lost" writing itself in your head throughout. And, if you wake up at 4:30 in the morning, wonder where you are and ponder how nice a tall glass of lemonade and a good book would be, don't say I didn't tell you so.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Thoughts on Life
This morning I woke up at 5 am. Actually, let me edit that and say I was woken up at 5am. I did my best to get back to sleep, but to no avail. I ended up finally giving in to my nervous excitement and getting up at around 6:20.
Today I am going to my first orthodontist appointment. I finally broke down and went to the dentist a week ago, and I am so so so glad I did! It's been a long time, but I was pleased to find out that my mouth hadn't been overtaken by decay and my teeth hadn't sprung to life as little green gremlins of disease. Actually, I only had three very minor cavities, and the hygienist was actually impressed with the color and cleanliness of my teeth. Did I mention it's been somewhere in the ballpark of five-ish years since I went to the dentist last? I have to admit it: I struggle with a fairly major fear of the dentist chair. The dentists I've had in the past have been a little less than gentle with my delicate little mouth (ha). Plus, the feeling of someone else's fingers in my mouth, as well as the scritchy-scratch feeling of the little hook-type utensil on my teeth makes me feel all squicked-out inside. Plus, I have an aversion to needles. Big Time. The last time I had to have blood drawn, the orderly took one look at me, ordered me to have a seat (quickly) and began speaking in abbreviated code to the other little medical attendants. From their reactions and side-glances, I think he was saying something along the lines of "oh no, we have another fainter on our hands". When they came toward me with the needle, the veins in my arm found a new zip code. The guy with the syringe said, "I haven't even touched her yet, and she's about to pass out!"
Anyway, back to today's story. I am going to my first orthodontist appointment. Yay! I have been waiting for this day for at least 12 years. I have wanted braces since I was 14 and realized that one of my baby teeth was not ever going to fall out on its own. When I was little, I thought they were the coolest thing. I used to try to make my own retainer out of aluminum foil (didn't work too well- don't try it). I have since learned that the pain of them makes them a lot less than "cool" to wear (I had a breif foray into orthodontics when I was in high school, but Mom lost interest in prying me from the car for appointments after I got my first taste of the discomfort of shifting teeth, and that was that....). But, nonetheless, I have wanted them since high school due to my desire for all adult teeth and a straighter smile. Plus, I am extra excited because I found a dentist and orthodontist who can hopefully work together well, and who offer sedation if necessary (double-yay!!).
So, I was too excited and nervous to sleep this morning. So I got up and made my wonderful husband breakfast instead. This morning I chose to wear a servant's heart and happy attitude, and took delight in serving my husband and showing him appreciation and respect for doing what he does (which is being a wonderful husband, friend, and provider for us). I have noticed that whenever I choose to count my blessings and meditate on what I can do to make my relationship better, I have an overwhelming sense of peace in my heart. I thank God everyday for my life and my husband. I'm feeling like I'm on a second honeymoon today!
Today I am going to my first orthodontist appointment. I finally broke down and went to the dentist a week ago, and I am so so so glad I did! It's been a long time, but I was pleased to find out that my mouth hadn't been overtaken by decay and my teeth hadn't sprung to life as little green gremlins of disease. Actually, I only had three very minor cavities, and the hygienist was actually impressed with the color and cleanliness of my teeth. Did I mention it's been somewhere in the ballpark of five-ish years since I went to the dentist last? I have to admit it: I struggle with a fairly major fear of the dentist chair. The dentists I've had in the past have been a little less than gentle with my delicate little mouth (ha). Plus, the feeling of someone else's fingers in my mouth, as well as the scritchy-scratch feeling of the little hook-type utensil on my teeth makes me feel all squicked-out inside. Plus, I have an aversion to needles. Big Time. The last time I had to have blood drawn, the orderly took one look at me, ordered me to have a seat (quickly) and began speaking in abbreviated code to the other little medical attendants. From their reactions and side-glances, I think he was saying something along the lines of "oh no, we have another fainter on our hands". When they came toward me with the needle, the veins in my arm found a new zip code. The guy with the syringe said, "I haven't even touched her yet, and she's about to pass out!"
Anyway, back to today's story. I am going to my first orthodontist appointment. Yay! I have been waiting for this day for at least 12 years. I have wanted braces since I was 14 and realized that one of my baby teeth was not ever going to fall out on its own. When I was little, I thought they were the coolest thing. I used to try to make my own retainer out of aluminum foil (didn't work too well- don't try it). I have since learned that the pain of them makes them a lot less than "cool" to wear (I had a breif foray into orthodontics when I was in high school, but Mom lost interest in prying me from the car for appointments after I got my first taste of the discomfort of shifting teeth, and that was that....). But, nonetheless, I have wanted them since high school due to my desire for all adult teeth and a straighter smile. Plus, I am extra excited because I found a dentist and orthodontist who can hopefully work together well, and who offer sedation if necessary (double-yay!!).
So, I was too excited and nervous to sleep this morning. So I got up and made my wonderful husband breakfast instead. This morning I chose to wear a servant's heart and happy attitude, and took delight in serving my husband and showing him appreciation and respect for doing what he does (which is being a wonderful husband, friend, and provider for us). I have noticed that whenever I choose to count my blessings and meditate on what I can do to make my relationship better, I have an overwhelming sense of peace in my heart. I thank God everyday for my life and my husband. I'm feeling like I'm on a second honeymoon today!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Life Lessons from a Newbie
Ok, so I know I'm not that old, and I haven't been married all that long. As a matter of fact, it has only been about 4.55 years since David and I tied the knot. I am still relatively new in this field of life compared to many others. Ok, most others. But I have learned a few small things, and I have it on my heart today to share some of those things with you.
The Best Lessons I've Learned So Far
1. Never say anything critical to or about another person.
This is one of the hardest things I have ever undertaken, and I still fail in this pursuit daily, sometimes even hourly, or even "minute-ly". I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as constructive criticism. And also, let me just say that there is a difference between confronting sin, and being critical. There is also a difference between parental guidance and criticism. When I say criticism, what I am talking about is the (oftentimes mean-spirited) nit-picking, as in "Well this painting would have been great if they had used pink instead of purple on this little 1-inch-squared section right here." Criticism, from what I have observed, often comes from a spirit of "it's only done right if it's done my way", otherwise known as pride. Criticism is deadly in any relationship, but especially in the marital relationship. According to my understanding, relationships flourish with encouragement and peace. If you hear yourself starting to critique another, and you want to stop, just ask yourself, "What's something I like about them?" Also, if there is something that another person is doing that is hurtful to you, there is nothing wrong, critical, condemning, or devisive about saying, "Would you be please _______?" My example: Would you please put your drink on a coaster? (Heh, I'm usually the one who this request would addressed to....) Here's a couple relevant verses:
Ephesians 4:31
Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. (NCV)
Titus 3:1-2
REMIND PEOPLE to be submissive to [their] magistrates and authorities, to be obedient, to be prepared and willing to do any upright and honorable work, to slander or abuse or speak evil of no one, to avoid being contentious, to be forbearing (yielding, gentle, and conciliatory), and to show unqualified courtesy toward everybody. (AMP)
James 3:17-18
Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. (The Message)
2. Accept others where they are, and continually look for what is admirable and praiseworthy about them.
It's easy to get caught in the cycle of "if they would only.....". Do your best to stay away from that train of thought. It leads to an abyss of misery. A person is never going to change based on your opinions or suggestions. This path will only lead to your own frustration. "Never try to keep a pig clean- it wastes your time and annoys the pig" (source unknown). More can be accomplished in the attempt to help another by inspiring them with honest praise and exhortations than can be guilted or brow-beaten out of them. Plus, you and everyone else will feel much better afterwards for the experience if it is a positive one.
Some verses:
1 Corinthians 13:3-7
7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Ephesians 4:29
Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
(Both quoted from The Message)
3. I cannot control another person into changing what they believe or who they are.
Change comes from a place of brokenness, and only God can bring them there. Criticizing and arguing with a person will not bring them to that place. In the case of salvation of another person, the only thing that we as believers can do is to plant the seed by telling them about Jesus and directing them toward the Bible, praying for it to take root in their hearts, and then loving them through the process. Loving them means giving them a soft place to fall and leading by example. There is nothing I can do to "get someone to help me help them." The seed of truth will take root if the ground is fertile, and the only one who can do the work to fertilize it is the Holy Spirit.
This is one of those things that I have had a supreme struggle with. A lot of times I can look at another person's life, and it's easy to see what it is that they are doing to hurt themselves. It is so easy to know where another person is making mistakes, and so tempting to think, "If I can just explain it right, or shout it loud enough, then they will see what they are doing, and change it." Oh, if only it was that easy. However, that approach never works. Almost always, that way of dealing with someone just ends up damaging the relationship- they feel judged, and I feel frustrated. Plus, pointing out to others their mistakes causes them to go on the defensive. When people start defending themselves, it just makes the problem worse because then they feel they must prove they are right, and the problematic behavior becomes more deeply entrenched.
It all comes back to the same basic principle of letting peace rule in our relationships. We do this by encouraging and nurturing the good things we see in ourselves and others, and leaving the rest to God to sort out.
Proverbs 3:12
For whom the Lord loves He corrects, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.
Proverbs 16:6
By mercy and love, truth and fidelity [to God and man--not by sacrificial offerings], iniquity is purged out of the heart, and by the reverent, worshipful fear of the Lord men depart from and avoid evil.
Drop me a note and tell me your thoughts! :)
The Best Lessons I've Learned So Far
1. Never say anything critical to or about another person.
This is one of the hardest things I have ever undertaken, and I still fail in this pursuit daily, sometimes even hourly, or even "minute-ly". I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as constructive criticism. And also, let me just say that there is a difference between confronting sin, and being critical. There is also a difference between parental guidance and criticism. When I say criticism, what I am talking about is the (oftentimes mean-spirited) nit-picking, as in "Well this painting would have been great if they had used pink instead of purple on this little 1-inch-squared section right here." Criticism, from what I have observed, often comes from a spirit of "it's only done right if it's done my way", otherwise known as pride. Criticism is deadly in any relationship, but especially in the marital relationship. According to my understanding, relationships flourish with encouragement and peace. If you hear yourself starting to critique another, and you want to stop, just ask yourself, "What's something I like about them?" Also, if there is something that another person is doing that is hurtful to you, there is nothing wrong, critical, condemning, or devisive about saying, "Would you be please _______?" My example: Would you please put your drink on a coaster? (Heh, I'm usually the one who this request would addressed to....) Here's a couple relevant verses:
Ephesians 4:31
Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. (NCV)
Titus 3:1-2
REMIND PEOPLE to be submissive to [their] magistrates and authorities, to be obedient, to be prepared and willing to do any upright and honorable work, to slander or abuse or speak evil of no one, to avoid being contentious, to be forbearing (yielding, gentle, and conciliatory), and to show unqualified courtesy toward everybody. (AMP)
James 3:17-18
Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. (The Message)
2. Accept others where they are, and continually look for what is admirable and praiseworthy about them.
It's easy to get caught in the cycle of "if they would only.....". Do your best to stay away from that train of thought. It leads to an abyss of misery. A person is never going to change based on your opinions or suggestions. This path will only lead to your own frustration. "Never try to keep a pig clean- it wastes your time and annoys the pig" (source unknown). More can be accomplished in the attempt to help another by inspiring them with honest praise and exhortations than can be guilted or brow-beaten out of them. Plus, you and everyone else will feel much better afterwards for the experience if it is a positive one.
Some verses:
1 Corinthians 13:3-7
7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Ephesians 4:29
Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
(Both quoted from The Message)
3. I cannot control another person into changing what they believe or who they are.
Change comes from a place of brokenness, and only God can bring them there. Criticizing and arguing with a person will not bring them to that place. In the case of salvation of another person, the only thing that we as believers can do is to plant the seed by telling them about Jesus and directing them toward the Bible, praying for it to take root in their hearts, and then loving them through the process. Loving them means giving them a soft place to fall and leading by example. There is nothing I can do to "get someone to help me help them." The seed of truth will take root if the ground is fertile, and the only one who can do the work to fertilize it is the Holy Spirit.
This is one of those things that I have had a supreme struggle with. A lot of times I can look at another person's life, and it's easy to see what it is that they are doing to hurt themselves. It is so easy to know where another person is making mistakes, and so tempting to think, "If I can just explain it right, or shout it loud enough, then they will see what they are doing, and change it." Oh, if only it was that easy. However, that approach never works. Almost always, that way of dealing with someone just ends up damaging the relationship- they feel judged, and I feel frustrated. Plus, pointing out to others their mistakes causes them to go on the defensive. When people start defending themselves, it just makes the problem worse because then they feel they must prove they are right, and the problematic behavior becomes more deeply entrenched.
It all comes back to the same basic principle of letting peace rule in our relationships. We do this by encouraging and nurturing the good things we see in ourselves and others, and leaving the rest to God to sort out.
Proverbs 3:12
For whom the Lord loves He corrects, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.
Proverbs 16:6
By mercy and love, truth and fidelity [to God and man--not by sacrificial offerings], iniquity is purged out of the heart, and by the reverent, worshipful fear of the Lord men depart from and avoid evil.
Drop me a note and tell me your thoughts! :)
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Kitty Cat Television
There is no greater pleasure for my two cats than the priviledge of sitting and staring out an open window. It dazzles their senses, especially their senses of sound and smell. They pick up snatches of information with their ears and nose, and learn more about the world around them than I could from watching the television for a week. They get so excited whenever David opens the window for them that they begin humming, purring, and prancing in circles. Here are some pics:
Gizmo just gets so excited that she has to be crazy for a couple minutes to vent some steam!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Good Stuff
This week has gone super so far!
Last night, on the spur of the moment, I decided to try making Chex mix for the first time ever in my whole entire life. I looked up the recipe on good ol' google, gathered up husband, and headed to the store. While we were there, grabbing our required cereal ingredients, we noticed a too-delicious-to-pass-up recipe on the back of the corn chex, and decided to make that too.
An hour later, we were at home enjoying about 10 pounds of various chex cereal concoctions, revelling in the tastiness. I could seriously get addicted to the Muddy Buddies, although a lot of the time I can't remember the name of it, and called it Monkey Munch instead (it looks similar to the recipe that Kate Gosselin made for her kids on "Jon and Kate Plus Eight", hmmm perhaps she just ripped off the recipe from their website and added some pretzels or marshmallows or whatever to make it her own....).
On the original Chex mix, I decided to add some Goldfish, roasted and salted sunflower seeds, and extra cashews and almonds. Plus I made it with a whole stick of butter instead of 6 tablespoons. It was super super yummy.
Another good thing about their visit is that it gave us the motivation to get even more done on our house in the department of decorating and organizing. I even got a new shower curtain out of the deal! :)
Last night, on the spur of the moment, I decided to try making Chex mix for the first time ever in my whole entire life. I looked up the recipe on good ol' google, gathered up husband, and headed to the store. While we were there, grabbing our required cereal ingredients, we noticed a too-delicious-to-pass-up recipe on the back of the corn chex, and decided to make that too.
An hour later, we were at home enjoying about 10 pounds of various chex cereal concoctions, revelling in the tastiness. I could seriously get addicted to the Muddy Buddies, although a lot of the time I can't remember the name of it, and called it Monkey Munch instead (it looks similar to the recipe that Kate Gosselin made for her kids on "Jon and Kate Plus Eight", hmmm perhaps she just ripped off the recipe from their website and added some pretzels or marshmallows or whatever to make it her own....).
On the original Chex mix, I decided to add some Goldfish, roasted and salted sunflower seeds, and extra cashews and almonds. Plus I made it with a whole stick of butter instead of 6 tablespoons. It was super super yummy.
Plus, other good things have been afoot in our cozy little household. Aaron and Amie, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law (David's brother and his wife), came up to visit for David's birthday this past Friday and Saturday. Let me just say that I am totally in love with them. D and I have been married for four years and three months, but it wasn't until this past Christmas that we had the chance to connect on a deeper level with his side of the famly (everyone lives pretty far apart). This year, we had an early Christmas, and the more relaxed atmosphere gave more opportunities to truly enjoy each other's company, and get in some good girl-talk. Also, being older and wiser and more accepting of my own flaws helped give me confidence to give someone else a chance to get to know me a little better. It's not very often that you find someone that you can connect with at the heart level, and I'm lucky to have someone like that for a sister-in-law.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Adventures in Toddler Land
Yesterday and today I have had the pleasure of spending some good, quality time baabysitting my little neices Shayce and Kylie. Shayce is four and a half. She has given me some very enlightening information over the last couple of days.
Yesterday she was explaining traffic lights to me. Everything she told me was accurate, and I was impressed, so I asked, "How did you get so smart?" Her response? "From my thumb. One day I bumped it, and that made it smart. Then it made me smart. It was a magic bump."
This morning I let her play on PBS kids website for a little while. I turned it on, went out of the room for a couple minutes to change Kylie's diaper, then came back. When I came back in the room, Shayce was carefully watching a little video on the website, with a pen and paper in hand, drawing little circles and squiggles on the paper. I asked her what she was doing.
"I'm bizerving."
"You're observing?"
"Yes."
Her mother is a [completely awesome] school teacher. It's testing season at school. Need I say more?
Also, on Wednesday, Kylie was hankering after Shayce's trail mix that she made at school. My mom had told Shayce to share with Kylie, so Shayce very happily picked out the pretzel sticks from the mix and poked them into Kylie's mouth. Then, Shayce was finished sharing. Kylie, however was not. So, for the next two hours, Kylie hunted, stalked, and tried to sneak some of the delicious M&M's or marshmallows out of Shayce's bowl of trail mix. Every time I would catch her trying to sneak some, I would tell her no. Finally, after a couple of attempts, she made a grab for the bowl, I started to say no, and she looked up with a pout and exclaimed "Shhh!"
Yesterday she was explaining traffic lights to me. Everything she told me was accurate, and I was impressed, so I asked, "How did you get so smart?" Her response? "From my thumb. One day I bumped it, and that made it smart. Then it made me smart. It was a magic bump."
This morning I let her play on PBS kids website for a little while. I turned it on, went out of the room for a couple minutes to change Kylie's diaper, then came back. When I came back in the room, Shayce was carefully watching a little video on the website, with a pen and paper in hand, drawing little circles and squiggles on the paper. I asked her what she was doing.
"I'm bizerving."
"You're observing?"
"Yes."
Her mother is a [completely awesome] school teacher. It's testing season at school. Need I say more?
Also, on Wednesday, Kylie was hankering after Shayce's trail mix that she made at school. My mom had told Shayce to share with Kylie, so Shayce very happily picked out the pretzel sticks from the mix and poked them into Kylie's mouth. Then, Shayce was finished sharing. Kylie, however was not. So, for the next two hours, Kylie hunted, stalked, and tried to sneak some of the delicious M&M's or marshmallows out of Shayce's bowl of trail mix. Every time I would catch her trying to sneak some, I would tell her no. Finally, after a couple of attempts, she made a grab for the bowl, I started to say no, and she looked up with a pout and exclaimed "Shhh!"
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