Monday, May 14, 2007

The Cold, Hard Truth

This is one of the papers I wrote recently for my English class. Enjoy!

The Cold, Hard, Truth

I used to believe that when I was an adult, I would have all the answers. Now I believe that no one ever knows all the answers. I used to believe that one day I would arrive at adulthood, and feel all grown up. Now I believe that for the rest of my life, I will still feel like a little girl inside, and that’s how I want it to stay. I used to believe that when I got married my problems would be solved. I know now that marriage only creates even more problems- but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I used to believe that adults could do whatever they wanted, and couldn’t wait to be one. Now I believe that children are really the ones that can do whatever they want, and sometimes I wish I could still be one. I used to believe that if only (fill in blank here) would happen, then I would be happy. I have learned that no matter what I get or achieve, or who I am friends with, I will not be happy unless I can be happy right now, in this moment, because it is my choice, and not a circumstance.
I am only 23 years old, and yet I have already learned much in this life. I have learned that it is possible to either be 23 years old, or to live the first year 23 times. I have learned that in order to learn from life, I have to be open and aware. I have learned that the only peace I will ever experience will be the peace I give myself. I have learned that I am responsible for my own problems, and that most of my problems I have created for myself. I have learned that I am not the center of the universe- that the majority of the time the way people act towards me is a product of their own issues, and their own wounds that they are struggling to heal and overcome. I have learned that I am responsible for how I feel about things, and that I am not responsible for how others feel about things, and because I learned that I am free. I am free to be me, to do what I want, to feel how I feel, and do what I need to do, and I no longer have to carry the burden of controlling the universe. I have learned that in order to love someone, you have to accept their rejection. I have learned that the more I try to be in control, the more of a slave I am to others. I have learned that there is always a choice, and for every choice there is a consequence, be it good or bad. And most of all, I have learned to never attempt to gain a free five hundred dollar gift card from anyone online. It costs too much in time, money, and mental health, and it’s doubtful that you will ever see the gift card.

1 comment:

Kar said...

"The more I try to be in control the more I'm a slave to others."

Whoa. I'm going to have to go think about that one.