Letting Go

I've been thinking a lot today about all the blessings in my life.  I had a good hour of such sweet fellowship with my David this morning during/after our morning Bible study time.  I have such an immense amount of adoration and respect for him- I feel overwhelmed when I think about just how big of a blessing he is to me.  In a way, he is the proof to my heart that God loves me.

I've been thinking a lot about how the blessing of having a good husband is not something that I feel I gave myself.  I truly feel like God brought us to each other, and then worked a miracle. Then I think about all my desire and aspiration toward parenthood, and it's like starting back at square one of my trust in God.  This is one thing that is impossible for me to control- we are open to accepting whatever God brings us (under the age of three), with no preference set even on the gender. I can't do anything to make it happen faster or slower.  I have to just keep working through the system and the training, and then it comes to a point where it's all on God.

I find myself getting anxious, and worrying that the blessing God is bringing won't be good. Or even worse, that He isn't bringing one at all.  And then I think about how much He has been faithful to me thus far, and the thought comes: the question isn't "How can I trust Him?", but "How could I not?"

Happenings

We have had a lot going on lately! For whatever reason, we've been working like crazy around here on projects- I've been working on painting the metalwork inside my house- handrails and such- and David re-wired the garage this past weekend.  Also, I planted an apple seed a few days ago, and have been enjoying watching it start to grow.  I gave up on growing my avocado tree- the heat wave this summer dried it out to the point that it finally gave up the ghost.  I was very sad about it, and despaired of ever growing anything again. Then, a week ago, I was slicing an apple and found one of the seeds had sprouted a root! I was delighted and folded it up inside a wet paper towel to see if it would continue growing.  It did, so a couple days later I put it in a pot with some soil, and now it has two leaves!

Another project I've been working on is getting the carpets in my house washed.  I've been doing it a bit at a time.  Last Friday afternoon I did a big chunk in the middle of the living room floor where there were several spots in preparation for a prayer meeting that night.  It was our first ever prayer meeting, and it was wonderful.  One of our friends had one about a month ago, and we couldn't make it.  I was so sad that I didn't get to go that I decided to just have one myself!

I have also been enjoying figuring out how to beautify my home without spending a fortune.  I went to Dollar Tree the other day, and found little miniature pots with fall-colored fake flowers in them, and bought a couple for my dining table.  Then I selected some yellow flowers from their other floral decorations, and picked out a small vase to put them in, and made a decoration for my breakfast table.  I also got some of their small river rocks, and a couple of larger glass vases, and made a little seashell, button, and rock display on my living room mantle.  The result has been wonderful, I think, and not too expensive!  I just love the dollar tree!